it's q-nanimous

Julian Beever, be my Valentine !

I have a knack for art humour (as well as crumpets with tea). Satire and comedy in art is sometimes...

(At the doctor's, in the waiting...

Sam (N. Portman): I recognize you.
Large (Z. Braff): Oh, did you go to Columbia High?
Sam: No, not from high school. From TV. Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?
Large: Yeah.
Sam: Are you really retarded?
Large: No, I'm not.
Sam: Cool.
[pause]
Sam: Great job man. I mean, I thought you were really retarded. You're just as good as that Corky kid, and he's actually retarded.
[pause]
Sam: If there was some sort of retarded Oscar... you would win, like hands down, kick his ass.
[pause]
Large: Well, thank you. Thanks, I appreciate it. I have to fill out this form though, so...
Sam: Right on.
[pause]
Sam: My cousin's an actor. Jake Ryan Winters. He was, like, on Xena once as a gnome or something. That's really cool though. I mean, Jake's not a very good actor. You can't really tell on Xena 'cause he's in a hairy gnome suit... It sucks, though, because there's not that much work for little people.

The best comeback to the PATRIOT Act ever.

“Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often...”
— Dave Barry

Stupidity eventually becomes obsolete.

Holy mother trucker, is the zip drive the most backward thing computer developers have ever...

Listen

Why I should go to UChicago for...

Sound Op: "Hey, apparently according to scientists..."
Stage Manager: "...Wait, did you just say 'according to scientists'? You expect that to be reasonable evidence? That's bullshit."
Light Op: "Yeah, this is the University of Chicago, cite your sources! Parenthetical citation!"
Stage Manager: "Yeah, dude, MLA that shit."

“Like hell it’s yours!” I found it on...

“The United States is about to be hit by tsunamis. The...”
— D.L. Hughley on Jay Leno