"Peace brought narcolepsy. The European nations devoted the first half of the twentieth century to slaughtering one another and the second half to drowning their sorrows in consumption. Toward the end of the twentieth century, exhausted by their sufferings and their pleasures, they placed themselves in the care of politicians, entertainers, and philosophers who taught the poisonous doctrine that politics must be little for individuals to become big. Then the peoples of Europe fell asleep. If they later failed to awaken, they might well remain rich. However, they would also be less equal, less free, and less great."

"We’ll always have that. Forever."

"Suspicious Dark Weather."

"Ignore the previous cookie."

"Get out of the blogosphere. Right now. Just get out."

"I’m writing another French paper and I’m writing about my life in France and how I found a cat and named him Marc and he was abandoned by his family and the vet told me he used to have owners because he was neutered, and I looked up the word neutered and it said it was castré, which sounds a little brutal and I was wondering if it was correct."

"What did I do this weekend? Well, I was watching the Vancouver opening ceremony. Did you notice that they totally ripped off Zhang Yimou? Get your own cheesy acrobatics, Canada!"

"Who do you think would win in a battle between Jean Paul Sartre and Madonna?"

"After careful observation, I think I can safely say that there seems to be only two questions you should ask before developing any kind of satisfying friendship with anyone. One: ‘Are you Jewish?’ Two: ‘Is your favorite character on Will & Grace Karen?’"

"Their songs are really catchy, but I get scared when I listen to them. What if I like it because I’m secretly a lesbian?"

"You’re the only person I know who will deliberately use the energy to strategize your trips to CVS to avoid the afternoon rush hour."

"You know, I still don’t have an apartment for next year. But on the bright side, I am deciding whether to name the cat I’ll be getting [for said nonexistent apartment] Winky, Beatrice, or Viola."

"We should make using imperfect grammar a felony, so that people take English class very seriously. You would be able to petition for a slang license."

"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

"The ‘culture’ of the individual certainly does not consist of the quantity of ‘cultural values’ which he amasses; it consists of an articulated selection of culture values. But there is no guarantee that this selection has reached an end that would be meaningful to him precisely at the ‘accidental’ time of his death. He might even turn his back to life with an air of distinction: ‘I have enough—life has offered (or denied) all that made living worthwhile for me.’"