"Suspicious Dark Weather."
— Charlie re: the name of his would-be male fragrance
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© 2010 Qichen.
"Ignore the previous cookie."
— Last night’s fortune cookie
"Get out of the blogosphere. Right now. Just get out."
— Kani trying to help me with my problems
"I’m writing another French paper and I’m writing about my life in France and how I found a cat and named him Marc and he was abandoned by his family and the vet told me he used to have owners because he was neutered, and I looked up the word neutered and it said it was castré, which sounds a little brutal and I was wondering if it was correct."
— Isa to Anna
"What did I do this weekend? Well, I was watching the Vancouver opening ceremony. Did you notice that they totally ripped off Zhang Yimou? Get your own cheesy acrobatics, Canada!"
— The Mom re: hobbies
"Who do you think would win in a battle between Jean Paul Sartre and Madonna?"
— Anders Nilsen
"After careful observation, I think I can safely say that there seems to be only two questions you should ask before developing any kind of satisfying friendship with anyone. One: ‘Are you Jewish?’ Two: ‘Is your favorite character on Will & Grace Karen?’"
— Anonymous assessing my life using bullet points
"Their songs are really catchy, but I get scared when I listen to them. What if I like it because I’m secretly a lesbian?"
— Kani re: the ambiguous state of her sexuality vis-à-vis Tegan & Sara
"You’re the only person I know who will deliberately use the energy to strategize your trips to CVS to avoid the afternoon rush hour."
— Alexis playin’ da hatah
"You know, I still don’t have an apartment for next year. But on the bright side, I am deciding whether to name the cat I’ll be getting [for said nonexistent apartment] Winky, Beatrice, or Viola."
— Isabela re: priorities
"We should make using imperfect grammar a felony, so that people take English class very seriously. You would be able to petition for a slang license."
— Asher on Facebook
"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."
— Mitch Hedberg
"The ‘culture’ of the individual certainly does not consist of the quantity of ‘cultural values’ which he amasses; it consists of an articulated selection of culture values. But there is no guarantee that this selection has reached an end that would be meaningful to him precisely at the ‘accidental’ time of his death. He might even turn his back to life with an air of distinction: ‘I have enough—life has offered (or denied) all that made living worthwhile for me.’"
— Max Weber
"Literary critics have said that there’s something unrepresentable about true love. It’s not because it’s so abstract or ineffable to express properly. It’s because it’s boring. Nothing has been achieved."
— Prof. Linda Schlossberg
"It’s like spending 3 hours in a Lisa Frank folder on acid."
— Laura Bans’s review of Avatar
